MORE TARTAN ARMY SHAME

IMAGINE, if you would for a moment, that a plane load of Rangers fans were said to be so drunk by an airline that they were refused permission to board their flight.

Think of the headlines in the tabloids -  RANGERS BOOZED BIGOTS BANNED - is one headline which springs to mind as a possible if such a scenario ever unfolded.

However, in the real world no such treatment is meted out by the nation's media when such an incident actually did take place.

WHY?

Well that's easy. For goodness sake,these poor chaps and chapesses are part of the so called cuddly loveable Tartan Army, so it couldn't have been them who were in the wrong. Could it?

It wisnae me mister. A big boy did it  and ran away. The mantra of the guilty in Scotland since I was a wean.

Except the facts, as reported in the two top selling tabloids,seem  suggest the opposite as far as the plane-load of the Tartan Army, en route to Prague from Liverpool, via Amsterdam are concerned.

And the pictures of them seem to suggest they are a similar motley looking crew to the many Scotland supporters I have been forced to share an airport and a flight with over the years.

It seems that easyjet - my second favourite airline - refused to allow them to board their flight from Amsterdam to Prague because they were adjudged to be too drunk to fly.

Some of the dregs I've  seen on  KLM flights - my all time favourite airline -  were often too blootered to walk.

Therefore ,when I read the story of the Tartan Army ban on flying by easyjet I was hardly surprised. The only surprise is it has taken so long for an airline to take a tough stand.

Of course the denials of any wrong doing spewed from this ragtag bunch of warbling Jacobite wannabees.

Take the quote from 26-year-old Adam Armstrong, a retail manager from Dumfries, who denied anyone was worse of the wear from too much bevvy.

This guy said: "We've all had a beer, but no one is drunk. It's ridiculous. We've been turfed out onto the streets of Amsterdam."

I do hope  if they took the train from Schipol into Amsterdam they found some entertainments adjacent to the station. I believe there are a variety only a lurch away. Whether the males among the bedraggled group were in any condition to avail themselves of any of the pleasures, is another matter.

But let's return to Adam Armstrong's claim that all the travellers had had was "a beer."

This is a group of the Tartan Army which had assembled at the John Lennon Airport in Liverpool in good time to check in for the flight to Amsterdam, which takes around an hour a half on a flight where alcohol is available.

A group of the Tartan Army which had around two hours between flights in Amsterdam, but who then found they were there even longer as the   easyjet   flight to Prague had been delayed for two and a half hours.

And during all that time - in and around the bars of the John Lennon airport, on the flight over to Amsterdam, and in the four hours or more they were hanging around Schipol, which is overflowing with bars - all they had was, to quote Adam Armstrong, "a beer."

AYE, RIGHT!

Now, as I have stated, I've been in many airports and on many flights to all corners of Europe with the Tartan Army. It is not a pleasant experience .

I've also shared many a KLM flight from Glasgow to Amsterdam and then onbound to every corner of Europe with Rangers supporters and Celtic fans.

Give me the Bigot Brothers anytime. And that ain't   just my view. Take a secret canvas of the press pack and they will tell you the same. They would rather share a city with Old Firm fans than with the Tartan Army.

Wee Silly Billy no doubt disagrees as, as I have already mentioned, he likes what passes for him as a good night out in a foreign port, with them, joining in with their anti-English choruses.

Let me give you an example of the way travelling to, for instance, Milan or Oslo, for a Scotland game on KLM works.

You turn up at Glasgow airport at 4.30am, bleary eyed ,   and   check in for the 5.55 to Amsterdam and are joined by half a dozen or so kilties. And do these guys never learn of the problems getting through security when they are dressed like that?

The flight is quiet - it's early and the many businessmen on it just want to do some work - apart from the loud, and often lewd comments from the Tartan Army.

Fortunately - thanks to my KLM Gold Card  as a frequent flier - I was always able to escape them as I waited in the KLM lounge at Schipol.

On emerging and making my way to the gate I would always find the half dozen or so who had been on the Glasgow flight were joined by three or four dozen who came off flights from Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Liverpool, Manchester and London.

They were all done up in the usual Tartan Army uniform of a kilt at the wrong length, boots or trainers, and they were all cluttered around a bar giving it laldy. In short, they were a drunken rabble.

On the plane there were many occasions when I was ashamed to be Scottish as they made more than merely suggestive comments to the cabin crew. Thank goodness that these Dutch lasses, even though they all speak impeccable English, could not understand the gutteral slang of the Kens.

I had to strain myself to understand what some of these boozed up halfwits were saying. And I never, never, never ever spoke, lest any of them should recognise me as a Scot.

Let me tell you a story of a flight back from Oslo one morning.

I had managed to buy a copy of that morning's English edition of the Daily Mail and was sitting on a aisle seat, as is my custom . At the window was a guy who had that hard to put your finger on look of a Scot. He was smartly dressed in a polo shirt and chinos.

In the middle was typical Ken. Kilt, boots, rolled down socks and a Scotland top which smelled as though he had been wearing it night and day since he left Her Majesty's Realm.

He tried to strike up a conversation with me in what was nearer to being a foreign tongue than English. I shrugged and continued reading  the   Daily Mail. The Ken then turned to the window seat passanger and said:"Ken, he disnae speak English."

Now this twenty something Tartan Army Ken was not drunk. Stupid, but not drunk.

With all of that experience - up close and personal - travelling on flights and through airports with the Tartan Army, I have no doubt those who refused them permission to board the easyjet flight from Amsterdam to Prague, were quite correct.

So far, although the top two tabloids carried  the story,there is a hint in the style of their reports that this was just a jolly jape.

The High Jinks, as Para Handy says.

My bet though is that if other football supporters from Scotland had behaved in a similar way and been dealt with in such a manner, the style of the tabloid coverage would have been much harsher.

Imagine!