ARCHIBALD GERARD KANE, LLOYDS AND RANGERS

WHEN even such a clever man as Alistair Darling admits to being hoodwinked by them, then you know just what they are. Bankers!

But there is something about one particular banker which perplexes me. Why is the man responsible at board level for the activites of Lloyds Bank in Scotland so seemingly reticent?

And why is the nation's media so shy about telling us the life story of Archibald Gerard Kane, the banker who can call the shots over the debt owed to his bank by Rangers?

After all Archie, as he's known in that ''bible'' of the famous, Who's Who, or Archibald on the Lloyds website, is a classic rags to riches story. The sort of' '' lad of pairts'' tale usually so beloved by our newspapers and broadcasting organizations.

And, given his relationship with that other great Scottish institution, Rangers, I find it hard to comprehend just what is going on.

On  numerous occasions I have mentioned this to a number of senior people in journalism, and none of them has been able to give me an answer for the silence.

So, for their benefit, and for the information of those interested in such stories, here is what I know about Archie Gerard Kane, as his entry in Who's Who calls him.

Kane, it tells us, was born in the 16th June, 1952, and his parents were Archie and Rose . He was, by his own admission, from a poor background.

In an interview with Alasdair Northrop in the serious and respected Insider Magazine on June 11th this year, Kane reveals how, for the first  six years of his life he and his parents shared one room in an aunt's house in Hamilton.

Clearly he still feels an affinity with Lanarkshire as his public address is listed as being Bellshill.

Those humble origins were nothing out of the ordinary in those days, as I grew up with my mum and dad in a room and kitchen in a Maryhill tenement in the 50s and 60s until I was 12 and we moved next door to a two room and kitchen.

Therefore I understand his comment about those years of: ''When you are young you don't think much about it.''

Quite right!

In the interview he went on to praise mother, Rose, as the driving force in his life, adding:''My mother encouraged me school-wise, and to go to university. My dad did everything from being a bus driver, to a wages clerk on a construction site and was well read and knowledgeable about politics and history.''

For the rest, the interview , as you would expect given the nature of the Insider Magazine, is as dry as dust, concentrating on the world of high finance and banking.

Certainly Kane is a man well qualified to talk about such subjects, despite having no banking qualifications, having studied accountancy at Glasgow University, emerging with a BAacc.

For, as well as being the executive director on the Lloyds Board, responsible for Scotland, Kane has 41 different relationships with his fellow board members in nine different organizations across six different industries.

Who could possibly argue against such a busy bee being worth the few quid short of £1.5M he trousered last year from a bank which was rescued by the taxpayers?

As I said, a classic rags to riches story, the sort usually documented in minute detail in newspapers and on radio and television in Scotland.

Yet, despite extensive research, there appears to be nothing  known about Kane since he and his mum and dad moved out his aunt's house when he was six in 1958, until he graduated from Glasgow University, probably some time around 1972-ish.

Maybe some of his old school pals or fellow undergraduates, who sunk of a few pints with him in the Men's Union can fill us in. Somebody must remember him.

Strangely there are no newspaper reports of this local boy made good returning to his primary school in Hamilton as the guest of honour on prizegiving day. Nor the hint of him addressing the present day pupils at whatever secondary school where he studied so hard, encouraged by mother, Rose, to win a place at Glasgow University.

In fact Who's Who is as much in the dark about this period in the life of the man who holds sway over Rangers, and who works for a taxpayers' funded organization, as I am.

Prime minister David Cameron lists his school as we all know, as Eton, and Gordon Brown tell us he went to Kirkcaldy High School.

Tony Blair even goes so far as to list Durham Choisters School before he went to Fettes, while Nick Clegg is a product of Westminster School.

Good grief, even shamed Fred the Shred - Sir Fred Goodwin, - owns up to having gone to Paisley Grammar School.

Of course perhaps Kane is ashamed of his humble origins. After all, Edinburgh is Scotland's banking centre, and when the folk there ask what school you went to, they are trying to uncover your social status, revealed by whether or not you attended a fee paying school.

If that's the case then shame on you Archie Gerard Kane ,though I find that hard to believe of a man who, despite having come a long way has still admirably kept his Lanarkshire roots.

I know a wee bit about Lanarkshire, as my dad, Andrew was born and bred in Coatbridge, before having the great good sense to marry a Maryhill lassie and move there.

So I know only too well the obsession of Lanarkshire's young men with sport in general and football in particular. Which is why I find it strange that in Who's Who, Kane lists his hobbies as golf, tennis and ski-ing. Hardly tastes he would have cultivated growing up in Lanarkshire in the 1950s and 60s.

But then again, as former Chancellor Alistair Darling has admitted, they are slippery customers. Bankers!